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WISE GUIDE (tm)
PLAYER'S MANUAL
TV MOGUL PLAYER'S MANUAL
"TV WISE GUIDE"
FIRST ROW AND TV MOGUL ARE TRADEMARKS OF
FIRST ROW SOFTWARE PUBLISHING, INC.
(C) COPYRIGHT 1993 FIRST ROW SOFTWARE PUBLISHING, INC.
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.
The TV MOGUL program and all of its associated data
is copyrighted by FIRST ROW SOFTWARE PUBLISHING,
INC. Unauthorized duplication by any means is forbidden.
Please help us keep the price of our software low by not
distributing illegal copies of TV MOGUL.
Credits:
Designed and Written By: Michael Breggar, aided by
Marilyn and Brisket
Programmed By: James A. Dorsman and Douglas E.
Michael
Conversions By: Jeffrey Dean O'Donnell
Doctor Debug
PAGE 1
Table of Contents
TV Wise-Guide (Player's Manual) page
. Turning On The Tube ..............3
. Test Patterns ....................3
. Playing With The Dials ...........4
. How You Rate .....................5
. Trends And The Trades ............6
. Special Specials .................7
. How Sweep It Is ..................7
. Play TV ..........................7
. Non-Basic Programming ............7
. Your Budget ......................8
. Shelf Liners .....................9
. Pray TV ..........................9
. View And Review ..................10
. Let Your Fingers Do The Walking ..11
. How To Develop A Show ............12
. Colluding Clues ..................13
. Off The Racks --On The Shelf .....13
. Nighty Night! ....................14
. The Auction ......................15
. For You, A Loan ..................15
. Off The Air ......................15
. Fine Tuning ......................16
. Holywood N' Grapevine
by Roan Embarras ..............16
. Russian Television
by Phesty Noglitz .............18
. TV Mogul Review
by Cincinnati Armory ..........19
. TV MOGUL Quick Start .............20
TV MOGUL -- TV NETWORK GAME
Tired of watching bad TV? Well, now you can do
something about it.. you can make it worse! Yes, you can
be the one who makes those marvelously intelligent
decisions, killing those great shows with bad ratings and
elevating those bad shows with great ratings to heights
unknown!
Can you give your network those high ratings it
demands? Can you keep your programming budget in the
black? Well, you better.. network programmers can be
canceled as easily as network turkeys! And if you survive
this media jungle (and it is a jungle out there!), then you
should send in your resume to your nearest television
network.. you may be able to get them to TV MOGUL
heaven.
TURNING ON THE TUBE...
Starting the game is the easy part. Load the game
according to the instructions included on the TV MOGUL
Quick Start, Page 20. After the title screen, you'll note
the selection screen. Up to three people may play TV MOGUL.
If there are less than three available (or willing!),
the computer program has culled the infinite wisdom of
the inimitable King of Programmers, Fred Silverfish, who
will pick up the slack.
Each player will represent one major TV network and
players will have a chance to rename their network during
the selection screen.
Finally, clicking the START button will get the affair
going. (Note the button marked RESTORE will allow you
to resume a previously saved game.)
TEST PATTERNS...
In the crazy world of TV MOGUL television, there
are three major networks.. usually known as the American
National Television network (ANT), the National
Broadcasting System (NBS), and the Superior Broadcasting
Company (SBC).
PAGE 3
One dark and dreary night, the presidents of the three
networks were at a posh pub watching cable TV and
conspiring to fire all the programming executives. After
the programmers put their schedules "to bed", they were
pink-slipped and put to pasture. This, of course, is why the
networks had to hire new programming execs.
So here you are...working with the schedule, getting
ready for the new season and hoping for the best come
next year. Your objective is simple: get the best ratings
for your network. When the preliminary schedule is
completed, the final "numbers" will appear. After the
preliminary schedule is set, each network is given $100,000
per ratings point which is added to the final budget. The
player with the highest final budget is the winner!
PLAYING WITH THE DIALS...
In TV MOGUL, before play begins, the set schedules
you've inherited will be shown on the screen as pages of
the TV WISE-GUIDE. Type "N" to turn to the next page, "L"
for the last page, or hit the ESCAPE key when finished.
Typing "P" will print the whole on-air schedule. See the
Players Reference Card for further details.
Following the final page of the TV WISE-GUIDE, you'll
see the front page of the monthly trader paper, Variety.
Make sure you check out the headlines, these trends may
have something to do with how your shows are rated.
When you are done looking at the Variety page, hit or
click ESCAPE, and you'll find the entire list of on-air
shows ranked according to their ratings. This Ratings List
will also show you how the various programs were rated
for the past month.
Finally, the Network Scoreboard will pop up. Here
you'll see the monthly run-down of who had the highest
average monthly ratings, how much each network has in its
programming budget coffers, and a running average of
network ratings.
TV MOGUL is played from month to month. For
example, begin in August, planning the September
schedule. In September, you'll work on the October
PAGE 4
schedule, and so forth until June, when you'll work on the
July schedule -- the final "sked" of the network season.
Each player gets his or her turn each month to work
their programming magic -- they get five whole minutes to
do so!
A player's turn ends in one of two ways:
1. The player puts the schedule to bed by clicking the
EXIT door on the Desktop screen, or
2. The player clicks on the telephone and decides to
DO LUNCH.
At the end of the third player's turn, the monthly
Auction for Specials is held, then the whole thing is
repeated until the month before when players do their
programming for the final month. Note that since the rich
get richer and the poor get poorer (ain't we got fun?), the
player with the biggest budget gets to go first during each
monthly turn.
HOW YOU RATE...
In the TV biz, it has been said that "You can live with
poor ratings. But not well, and not for long." And how true
that is... TV networks make their advertisers. The rates are
based on how well a show fares in the ever-powerful
ratings. In PRIME TIME, the nation's viewing habits are
documented by the D.C. Nelson Company, and their say, of
course, is final! Poorly rated shows get "numbers" around
5.0 or less. Highly rated shows will fly above 28.0.
The Nelson ratings represent relative numbers of
viewers watching a specific show at a specific time. The
higher the ratings, therefore the bigger the audience. And
the bigger the audience, the more the networks can charge
their advertisers for that show. As a rule of thumb, for
each rating point, the network earns around $19,000 per 1/2
hour episode. For example, "Murder-l" the hour long
detective series may achieve a Nelson rating of 30.0. This
means, in one month, "Murder-1" generates $1,140,000 for
its network ($19,000 X 30.0 X 2<-four 2 half-hours -
$1 ,140,000).
PAGE 5
The ratings are calculated through a series of complex
routines. Target audiences are looked at; if it has been
predetermined that "family shows" are "in" during a
certain month, those programs geared towards all ages
will do well. Age groups, time slots, show lengths and
many other demographics are figured in. One of these
factors is the so-called "fickle-factor." Audiences are
truly a fickle group. One month they want this, next
month they want that. And to make matters worse, you can
never really plan for this fickleness due to this inherent
transient nature. So don't be surprised if during a
particular month, the ratings of a particular show (or
shows) either soars or drops for no apparent reason. So,
how can one prepare for such events? To be honest, you
can't! You just have to hope you've targeted the right
audience and then cross your fingers.
All programming life, however, is not so dismal. There
are some guidelines to follow in the never-ending quest to
interpret the ratings. Learn from success. Look at the
highly rated programs and try to determine why they
are up at such rare air levels. Is it because of its time-slot?
Its genre? Shows just before or after it? If you can figure
out what makes it succeed, and you have a similar
time-slot then you can add the program of your choice.
In a similar vein, if a show is a failure, it behooves you to
find out what makes it tick so poorly... you don't want to
make the same mistake twice!
TRENDS AND THE TRADES...
You can get a feel for what the public is hankering for
(or against) by reading the "Trades"-- the trade paper of
the television industry. In TV MOGUL, the trade paper
all good programmers read is Variety, and prior to the
start of each programming month, you'll get to see the
front page.
Three headlines will be featured each month. The
headlines may or may not reflect a change in the game
(network budgets, show ratings, eat.). If there is an
indication of a trend you best pay close attention
("Country Craves Comedies...Sit-Com Ratings Ha-Ha-High!")
- - these trends may last for several months.
PAGE 6
SPECIAL SPECIALS....
There are 15 "big event" specials in TV MOGUL
which are available for purchase by any of the networks.
These shows are expensive, but very frequently produce
great ratings. The specials may only be aired during
specific months, and are auctioned to the highest bidder
prior to the air date. More later...
HOW SWEEP IT IS...
There are two months during the programming season
which are more important than any other month. These are
the months that comprise "The Sweeps."
During these months, the networks pull out all the stops
to bring in the highest ratings possible. Why? Well... wit all
comes down to money (of course!). Advertising rates for the
months that follow (up until the next sweeps month) are set
during the sweeps, you'll get more per ratings points than
the other networks. The rich get richer, and the poor get
poorer...who said life in the TV business is fair?
PLAY TV...
Here's how TV MOGUL is played:
The game begins in one month with you programming
for the next month. You have "inherited" a schedule of
shows which has already been rated and ranked by the
D.C. Nelson Company. So first, you'll want to flip through
the pages of the TV WISE-GUIDE (its a good idea to print
this out; a hard copy can help you make better decisions
earlier), the Variety page, and the list of Ratings and
Rankings.
Don't expect a particularly balanced schedule--or
particularly good ratings...remember you are taking over
for a fired programmer!
NON-BASIC PROGRAMMING...
There are three distinct phases in each Month (or
round) of TV MOGUL. First, the DISPLAY PHASE where
PAGE 7
you are shown the TV WISE-GUIDE listings, the Variety
page, the Network Standings, and the Ratings and
Rankings. Next, you go into the PROGRAMMING PHASE
where you get to bid on one-of-a-kind shows.
Generally speaking, when you are in the
PROGRAMMING PHASE, any time a list, of sorts, of
shows is displayed, you may obtain detailed information
about a show by pointing to its name and either clicking
the RIGHT mouse button (on such equipped computers) or
pressing the space bar. Please see the PLAYERS
REFERENCE CARD for details.
YOUR BUDGET...
All networks begin with $15 million. This amount is
readjusted, as needed, by Variety headlines, so your
opening budget may be slightly different.
Here's how the budget itself is calculated:
The cost of any ON-AIR production is multiplied by 4
(4 weeks to a month = 4 episodes per month). This number
is subtracted from the advertising revenues from that
show. The AD Revenues are figured by taking the
program's Ratings and multiplying it by $18,000,
$19,000, or 20,000 (depending on the network's standing in
the last sweeps).
Finally, this total is multiplied by the number of
half-hours of the show. For example, "Nice Work" is a
successful l/2-hour sitcom costing $65,000 per show
and drawing a monthly rating of 25.2. This show is on the
third place network.
rating ad rates # of years episode cost
| | | |
(25.2 X 18.00) X 1 - (65,000 X 4) =
|
4 weeks per
month is added to the network budget.
This then, is the basic budget calculation. Other factors
will affect your budget including, the cost of SPECIALS,
and various events that will be discussed later.
PAGE 8
SHELF LINERS...
Before we go any further, lets describe what the
NETWORK SHELF is.
The shelf is...well...a shelf! It's a place where you put
things temporarily. It is found in the PROGRAMMING
ROOM and can hold a maximum of FIVE programs.
Programs "on the shelf" are not on the air, merely held
aside to be used (or cancelled) if needed. The network is
charged $10,000 a month for each show on the shelf. If the
"Shelf Show" is one currently in development (see
"DEVELOP A SHOW") the cost is upped to $30,000 per
month.
PRAY TV...
Buy the antacids--You're in charge!
Each network exec is given 5 minutes to set their
schedules for the upcoming month. The network with the
most money gets to go first. You'll do your work from
your executive office suite...the DESKTOP SCREEN.
On your desk you'll see a folder, on the LEFT, reading
NETWORK REVIEW, a TELEPHONE CARD FILE and a
TELEPHONE.
On the wall is a digital clock (that counts down from 5
minutes), and a calender (telling you which month you are
programming for). An EXIT door is on the LEFT and a
door to the PROGRAMMING DEPARTMENT is on the
RIGHT.
You'll also notice your current budget listed at the
bottom of the screen.
While in your office, you may do several things. Just
move the arrow to the appropriate icon and press the FIRE
button (See PLAYERS REFERENCE CARD).
When you are all finished buying, adjusting, whatever,
you end your turn by either pointing to and selecting the
"EXIT" door or hitting and selecting the TELEPHONE: "Put
the Schedule to Bed" or "Lets do Lunch" respectively. You
must select one of these. Remember, the clock ticks away
PAGE 9
and for every second over 5 minutes, you'll lose $10,000!
Time is money.
Let's go over in detail what each selection will do.
NOTE: TO MAKE A SELECTION, SEE PLAYER'S
REFERENCE CARD
VIEW AND REVIEW...
Selecting the NETWORK REVIEW icon from the
DESKTOP SCREEN, opens a folder containing 5 items.
On the LEFT hand side of the folder, selecting
"Network Review" will redisplay the most recent "Who's on
First" screen, showing you the average network ratings and
budgets.
"Show Board" will display the list of on-air
programs, their ratings and rankings, and their
competition on a day-by-day basis. (With the "Show board"
screen, as with any screen that list PROGRAM NAMES,
show demographics may be requested; - more later).
"Profit and Loss" will display the number of shows
you own that are on-air shows, their product cost and ad
revenues. You'll also be provided with the costs involved
with "on-the-shelf" shows, shows in development, and the
cost of "pushing" shows.
The little pink memo page, when selected, recaps the
latest front page of Variety.
Finally, the "Ratings & Rankings" sheet will produce a
list of your on-air shows, their rank amongst All on-air
shows, and their current ratings. From this screen, you
may elect to PUSH a show. This, of course, is the end
result of a managerial decision. An effort is made to
increase a show's ratings by extensively advertising and
promoting that show. PUSHING does not always work, but
when it does, the results can be dramatic. Speaking of
dramatic, the cost to PUSH a show for one month equals
the cost of one episode of a show.
To PUSH a show, place the arrow by the show's name
and hit the button. A show is PUSHED when its name is
PAGE 10
highlighted. Remember, a show stays PUSHED until it is
UNPUSHED (again, point to the show and press the button).
Only seven shows may be PUSHED at one time.
Pressing the ESC key or moving the pointer to DONE
and pressing the button, gets you out of any screen.
Pointing to EXIT and hitting the button closes the
NETWORK REVIEW folder and puts you back to the
Desktop.
LET YOUR FINGERS DO THE WALKING...
There are five studios in TV MOGUL with which you
do business. All the TV shows are produced by one of the
five. All studios have a selection of programs that you
may produce. They are various lengths, various genres,
and target audiences.
When a show is purchased, the studio places it "On
Your Shelf". From there, you may do whatever you want
with it. may do whatever you want with it.
To GO SERIES SHOPPING, select the PHONE INDEX
FILE from your desktop. The file will open showing the
names of the five studios. Move the arrow to the studio
you wish to deal with and press the button. That selected
studio will then provide you with a list of shows it has for
sale. You'll see the SHOW NAME, Length, and COST PER
EPISODE. To get some more information about a
particular show follow the instructions on your PLAYER
REFERENCE CARD, and a window will open telling you
the GENRE (the type of show), the TARGET AUDIENCE
(preteen, teen, adult, all ages) and the amount of
VIOLENCE and SEX (1-3 "V's" or "S's").
If you think a certain program is your cup of tea
(or glass of scotch), then point to the NAME and press the
button. You'll be asked if you wish to purchase that show.
YES puts it on your shelf.
While at any studio, you also have the opportunity to
DEVELOP A SHOW. By selecting DEVELOP from any
studio, you get a chance to exercise your creativity as well
as your juggling prowess. If you really want an hour-long
PAGE 11
sitcom and none are available, or you don't like the
demographics (target audience, violence, sex, ect.), here's
your chance to roll your own.
HOW TO DEVELOP A SHOW...
It takes time and money to develop a show, and if
you're running low on both, you better look for other
things to do.
You'll also need an empty space on your shelf.
After selecting the DEVELOP option, you'll need to
name your show. Type in any name that suits your fancy.
Then select a genre from one of the following:
Comedy
Action / adventure
Drama
Movie
Game Show
Sports Programs
News / documentary
Variety Show
Next, select a length from 30 minutes to 2 hours.
You'll then be asked to select the targets and
demographics; and finally, type in a short description of
the show (the "blurb").
The RETURN (or ENTER) key will enter all
information. Finally, select SAVE to actually CREATE
the show; RESTORE erases what you've just entered and
you can start all over; ESC puts you back into the studio
screen as if nothing had happened.
Once a show is in development (checking the INFO
will say so) it will sit on your shelf and cost you $30,000
per month. Development time varies and may entail
several months. But once a show is "ready" the on-shelf
costs drop to $10,000 per month.
So is it really worth it to develop your own shows?
After all, development can cost you from $30,000 to
$210,000. Well it does have its advantages. First off, you
can create the type of show you want. If lots of sex seems
PAGE 12
to be "selling" and Variety tells you that Game Shows are
popular...there's your chance...create a sexy game show!
You'll also find that "home grown" TV series are a bit
cheaper per episode than "canned" studio purchases; after
all, there was no middleman.
COLLUDING CLUES...
A headline may pop-up on the Variety page suggesting
that a studio and a network may be colluding. If the
network is your network, you'll be asked if you do,
indeed, wish to collude with a certain studio. If you
answer YES all shows purchased by you from that studio
will be 15-25% less.
If Another player wishes to shop at that studio you
have the option to say NO and lock the player out, or
CHARGE that player a certain amount of money EXTRA
per show.
OFF THE RACKS -- ON THE SHELF...
From your desktop, you can enter the PROGRAMMING
DEPARTMENT by pointing to the PROGRAMMING
DOOR and pushing the button.
In the Programming Room, you'll see two rows of film
CANS, and the SHELF (upper left of the screen). The
CANS contain the on-air shows and the thicker (wider) the
can, the longer the show. The CANS are arranged in order
according to the days they are aired.
There are several things you can do in the
Programming Room. You can CANCEL a show by placing
the HAND over the film CAN (check info to make sure it's
the right show!), press the button to pick it up, then move
the CAN over to the trash can in the bottom right. Press
the button again, and your show is destroyed. Once a show
is cancelled, it is gone forever (at least from the current
game!).
A little less drastic is to place a show ON THE SHELF.
Just follow the above instructions but place the can on
the shelf--not the trash can. Remember, there is a charge
of $10,000 per show per month for shows sitting on the
shelf.
PAGE 13
Likewise, you can move a show from the shelf on the
air. To PUT A SHOW ON THE AIR, simply follow the
above instructions. You can only put a show into the
schedule if there is room. If, for instance, you just
cancelled a 1/2 hour show and there is only a one hour
show on the shelf, you'll have to either MOVE SHOWS
AROUND or leave the Programming Room, go to a studio,
buy a 1/2 hour show, go back to programming and place it
on the air.
There is a temporary slot to the LEFT of the trash can.
When MOVING SHOWS AROUND, you may temporarily
place them there. NOTE: this is NOT a shelf space. Any
show left there when you leave the Programming Room is
automatically CANCELLED!
Before you leave the Programming Room, be sure there
are no HOLES IN YOUR SCHEDULE. You will not be
permitted to end your turn if there is an unscheduled
block in your on-air schedule. At the bottom of the
Programming Room screen, you'll see two boxes labelled
EXIT and UNDO. Placing the hand on UNDO and pushing
the button reset the schedule to how it was before you
began. EXIT returns you to your desk.
NIGHTY NIGHT!...
As mentioned earlier, when you're finished juggling
your shows, or shopping, or creating, you END your turn
by either PUTTING YOUR SCHEDULE TO BED or
DOING LUNCH.
If you point to the EXIT door and press the button,
you have just PUT YOUR SCHEDULE TO BED. That's it.
You're done for this month and the next programmer goes
to work.
Pointing to the TELEPHONE and pushing the button
says that you want to DO LUNCH. Lets DO LUNCH also
ends your turn and puts the schedule to bed...but there is
more. You get to gamble a bit, taking a "Power Lunch" with
an important person. Half of the time, nothing happens
(except having a good lunch!). The other half of the time,
however, you'll either make thousands extra or lose
thousands of dollars.
PAGE 14
THE AUCTION...
When all three networks have PUT THEIR
SCHEDULES TO BED, the specials that will air in the
upcoming month are auctioned off to the highest bidder.
The AUCTION SCREEN will show you the name of the
SPECIAL to be auctioned, and a TIME LINE. When the
LINE first disappears the AUCTION begins (the first line
gives players a chance to grab their respective controllers
assigned at the beginning of the game).
Look at the PLAYER'S REFERENCE CARD to see how
to increase or decrease your bid. The numbers listed on
the screen are in THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS.
Players may bid with ALL of their programming
budget. When the TIME LINE vanishes a second time, the
bids are set and the special is awarded to the highest
bidder.
FOR YOU, A LOAN...
It can happen. You may run out of money. But in TV
land, there's always someone who'll give you an extra
fifteen million smackers. You may only borrow money
when you've lost it all. The amount you borrowed will be
subtracted from your final score.
OFF THE AIR...
When you've set the schedules and all the ratings are
in, the game ENDS.
The player with the HIGHEST AVERAGE RATINGS
scores $300,000 per ratings point. This total is added to the
final budget figure. $200,000 per point goes to network
number two; and the third network gets $100,000 per point.
The winner of TV MOGUL is the player with the
HIGHEST ADJUSTED BUDGET.
PAGE 15
FINE TUNING...
So that's about it. That is how TV MOGUL is played.
Here are a few suggestions to close with:
- Play the game a few times just to get used to accessing
the various menus and routines. Get a feel for moving
from one screen to the next, and back again. Remember,
time is money. Knowing what you want to do before you
do it will keep you from going over the five minute limit
and losing $10,000 a second. Use the hard-copy print-out
feature sparingly, as this may take up some valuable time.
Use the "TV WISE GUIDE" frequently as a way to learn
about the programs both unsold and on the air (or shelf).
- Don't hold on to too many shows. There may be five
spots available on the network shelf, but remember the
cost involved of shelving a series (as opposed to simply
cancelling the show).
- Developing a show may be a good idea--but try not to
do it too late into the game; it may not be "ready" in time
and all it did was cost you $30,000 a month. On the other
hand, if you notice a trend developing in viewing habits,
don't waste time to jump on the preverbial bandwagon...it
may be too late!
- After playing TV MOGUL a few times, you'll start to
get a "feel" for what succeeds when and some
programming decisions will be easier.
- Trust your intuition. OK -- it may not be scientific, but
gut feelings can mean the difference between success and
failure. When Kovner cracks SBC and ANT programmer
Fred Silverman was once asked to describe his ability to
select and program so many hit shows, he commented that
he's "just an 'average guy with an average family. I
trusted my instincts. Being an average guy, what I like,
the country likes."
HOLLYWOOD 'N' GRAPEVINE
All the latest inside dope from TV's biggest dope.
by Roan Embarrass
PAGE 16
DATELINE HOLLYWOOD...
We've had lots and lots of breakfast cereals, in the
past, based on cartoon characters. Look for BRAND N
foods' to produce new snacks named after
behind-the-scenes TV folk. First up will be the Brand N'
POP TARTIKOFF...Tom Silly may be lured away from
television and into dinner theater. Insiders tell me he's
already inked a deal to star with Burt Wrap, Hank Hogan
and Arnold Schwartzenfinkleneigerstein in "Little
Women"...power struggles on the set of DILLAS? The new
show about a big pickle-farming family may have to be
canned for a while. Seems star Patrick Toughie was upset
when he found out his character BILLY BOB FLYWING
was killed-off then reincarnated as a shower. That didn't
bother him as much as the fact that the shower is located in
the BATE'S HOTEL...in an effort to increase ratings, ANT
recently hired special effects whiz Mel Hartenclamp to
jazz up its nightly news broadcast. What's that thing going
out of Peter Danton's head?
NOW I'VE HEARD EVERTHING DEPARTMENT...
Could famous tennis star John Makearow and his wife
Couch Potatum, be flipping their preverbial wigs. Marinara
(a very reliable sauce) reports that jaunty John plans to
build a resort spa on Venus. "He originally wanted to build
near Austria," reports Marinara. "But he had a run-in with
the Rhine judge"...are "jiggle shows" on the way back?
Reports have it that there will be a new variety series
featuring worms dancing in vats of Jell-O...After months
of speculation, it seems that band leader Doc Servingsome
will be severing ties on the late night "GOOD NIGHT" show.
I'm told he was always at odds with Johnny Guresome, the
show's perennial host, and never really cared for Johnny's
sidekick, "that fat dog-food head."
AND FINALLY...
Just in is a rumor that public TV may be going out of
business next year. PTV Prez, Frag Gimlunk, has been
quoted as saying, "We might not have any alternative. We're
quickly running out of people to bore."
PAGE 17
RUSSIAN TELEVISION
YOU BETTER LIKE IT ... OR ELSE!
by Phesty Noglitz
If you have a satellite dish and you happen to twiddle
your knobs in just the right fashion, you'll be able to pick
up television transmissions from Moscow. And what fun
they are! Much more fun than automobile transmissions.
After sitting through more than two weeks of scheduled
broadcast, I've put together a small list of the best of the
big Red Eye.
Note first off that the American series "The
Untouchables" was originally scheduled to be seen. But the
President yanked it at the last minute. They didn't want
the general public to see all those flashy new cars.
Sunday night means variety shows on Soviet TV. Most
non-bloodshot eyes are peeled to the RED SULLIVANICH
SHOW. Here viewers can watch all the latest opera acts,
baggy babushka comics, and be treated to teams of Soviet
tractor-tire changers.
Monday night is devoted to heavy-hitting dramas about
professional people: doctors, lawers, teachers and barnacle
scrapers.
You'll find sit-coms on Tuesdays and Thursdays (there
are no broadcast on Wednesdays. They blame it on the
CIA). The most popular sit-com is called NINTY-SEVEN'S
COMPANY, about a funny Russian Family of 97 all living
together in an eight-by-ten apartment. Also popular is the
comedy about a grandmother leading the Russian
Revolution. HANNAH AND HER RESISTERS stars
MOSCOVITE film star Ali "Qickdraw" McGrawski.
If you like dramas and soaps, then tune in Friday
night. Chernobyl is very popular. Larryavich Hagamamich
plays a power hungry power magnate. He wheels and deals
with nuclear power after lunch and with gas after dinner.
KAY OF THE KGB is a fabulous detective show about a
super sleuth who solves all crimes and drinks Vodka by
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the case. The show has a scheduled run of two months (the
producers don't expect the star's liver to last longer than
that).
Saturday night is perhaps Russia's most popular TV
night. This is the night of the game show. IVAN'S GOT A
SECRET is the most watched. Also well received are THE
MARCH GAME and FAMILY FEUDSKI.
All in all, Russian television bodes well for all
Soviet couch cabbages (as they are called). Next year
promises to be even more exciting when BOLSHOI
BLOOPERS premieres.
REVIEW by Cincinnati Armory
"TV MOGUL"
I think this must be a first, a television comedy based
on a computer game. The game of TV MOGUL was
absolutely brillant. Clever, witty, hysterically funny, and
generally nifty. It was easy to see why some enterprising
programming exec would want to adapt it to the little
screen. Something went wrong with the translation,
however.
I would suspect that Fred Silverfish, the producer is
only playing with forty-seven (he's a pinochle addict).
First off, he hired a Latvian ex-convict with migraine
headaches and acne to write the series. The lead roles are
played by such hams, their collar buttons are cloves. The
script has so many holes, you might think you were on the
freeway.
Conie Von Nent was hired to do the show's music. The
Mayor should give him the off-key to the city. I've heard
better music coming from a leaking tire.
The series is directed by Silverfish's fifth ex-wife,
Daisy Rotilla. She captains the show with the light subtle
touch of a nervous surgeon with a dull, rusty scalpel.
Long live TV MOGUL! But "TV Mogul's" gotta go!
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TV MOGUL Quick Start
============================
FOR SOUND SUPPORT USE
"TVMA" : FOR ADLIB
"TVMI" : FOR INTERNAL SPEAKER
"TVMM" : FOR SOUNDMASTER
"TVMX" : FOR COVOX
IF YOUR SOUND CARD IS ADLIB OR COMPATIBLE.
------------------------------------------
Type "TVMA CD-DRIVE LETTER" and press <ENTER>
For example: if your CD-ROM is drive E:,
type "TVMA E" and press RETURN
General Selectric...
After the title sequence, the selection screen appears. use
the cursor keys to move the highlighted arrow to the item you
wish to change, then press the ENTER key to make the change.
Remember, there are always three (3) networks in "TV MOGUL".
This screen will allow you to select the keys you will use
during the SPECIAL AUCTION. Any of the keys on the keyboard
can be used by any of the three players, although the defaults
seem to work well. You can toggle the HUMAN/COMPUTER slots to
decide which networks you'd like the computer to play.
When you have changed all you care to, press the ESC key to
begin the game.
Use the mouse, joystick or keyboard arrows to move the cursor,
Enter is like the button, ESC leaves the screen, ? will show
available options.
Keys used in bidding:
Player 1 Player 2 Player 3
BID UP: F2 M Up-arrow
BID DOWN: F1 N Down-Arrow
Network Show Schedule Planning Sheets may be printed
by typing Printsch at the DOS prompt.
EX. C:\TVMOGUL\Printsch <ENTER>.
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